Carp!

Posted at 6:00 AM on November 23, 2009 by Dale Connelly (30 Comments)

Asian Carp are gaining ground in Illinois. News reports over the weekend indicated that Illinois authorities turning up the voltage on an underwater electric fence that was designed to halt the voracious carp's progress towards Lake Michigan.

Now Asian Carp DNA has been found in the water beyond the fence, and while no actual fish have been located yet, experts conclude that these destructive eating machines have leaped, gone around, tunneled under or somehow managed to pass through the barrier.

What does this mean? Once they get into the Great Lakes, Asian Carp will pose a serious threat to existing species and commercial fisheries.

Already, in lakes and rivers, some of these greedy eaters have swelled to 100 pounds. That's a big fish. Is there any limit to how large they'll become in the Great Lakes? And the way they leap out of the water ... monstrous, mammoth Silver Carp bubbling just under the surface - they could be the Great White Whales of Lake Superior ... even posing a threat to Great Lakes Shipping.

In the gargantuan moster movie genre, electrocution was one way to deal with scientific accidents run amok, but that doesn't seem to be working with these Asian Carp (re: underwater electrified fence).

And they live in water, so we can't set them on fire (another time honored technique).

If we could get them to climb, en masse, to the top of the Empire State Building, there might be a chance we could push them off by buzzing them with bi-planes (they ARE slippery after all), but an enormous fish ladder would have to be built, which is an extremely expensive proposition (a good economic stimulus project?).

The world's greatest minds have assembled here in the hope that humanity has one last trick up it's sleeve. Perhaps there's some technological fix - something new and experimental. But all I see are blank faces.

Unless ... is that a glimmer of an idea in your eye, Dr. Heartlander?

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Farmers and Feeders

Posted at 6:00 AM on November 21, 2009 by Dale Connelly (3 Comments)

Tonight on Radio Heartland on Minnesota Public Radio News stations, we'll have music for the season of thanks - songs of satisfaction and prayers of gratitude from Pete Morton, Alison Krauss, Solomon Burke, Blind Willie Johnson and more.

In the second hour I'll talk with North Dakota farmer and rancher Chuck Suchy. For decades, Chuck has been singing and writing songs that connect to his rural life and work. Now he's got a new recording and a fresh resolve to share parts of his experience that go beyond the farm. Chuck Suchy will perform songs from "Unraveling Heart" in the studio.

I'll also visit with a couple of musical brothers from the Twin Cities - Tim and Paul Frantzich. They have appeared on stages far and wide as The Brothers Frantzich, (including some nationally broadcast spots on A Prairie Home Companion), but recently Paul moved to Colorado to pursue yet another dream - feeding the world's starving millions. But the music continues - in fact, it's a crucial part of the mission against hunger.

We'll find out about farmers and feeders tonight on Radio Heartland.

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Names in Space

Posted at 5:55 AM on November 20, 2009 by Dale Connelly (15 Comments)

I spent a significant portion of my youth helping my father work on cars in our backyard garage. My role was to hold the flashlight and fetch tools and parts when asked. In our shop, searching for stuff represented about 90% of the overall man-hours, so I knew I was engaged in vital work - the primary task at hand. That's why it makes me happy to know the Space Shuttle Atlantis is delivering a motherlode of spare parts to the International Space Station.
I hope they remembered to label everything. Space is big, and it's hard enough to find that spare fuel pump when you don't have an inconceivably vast emptiness to search through.

Speaking of the bigness of space - one of the many quick ways to see a chunk of money float away forever is to spend it "naming" a star for a loved one. The International Astronomical Union and plain common sense will caution you against this. Scientists identify stars by number and you can't purchase legitimate naming rights for anything in the night sky.

That doesn't stop people from trying to sell you the opportunity, though.

And there are billions of stars out there - in fact there are more genuine stars in the sky than there have ever been in the ranks of TV and movie stars here on Earth, which is saying something because we have a plethora of stars raging around New York and Hollywood at the moment - people you have never heard of and yet, rumor has it, they're extremely famous. Perhaps if we numbered them it would be easier to keep track.

Of course when it comes to our own private use, we can call the stars and the planets whatever we want. Name the moon after your favorite relative to make it seem less foreboding, or because you recognize something in the way it shows up fully lit at least once a month. Just don't expect anyone else to follow suit. Hearing that scientists have discovered water on Uncle Fred would be just plain weird.

How good are you at correctly identifying stars, planets and constellations in the night sky? Do you know what you're doing, or do you improvise, like me?

I've decided to re-name Saturn's moon, Tethys.
I'm calling it "Kirk Douglas". I think it fits.

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Unexpected Gratitudes

Posted at 6:00 AM on November 19, 2009 by Dale Connelly (22 Comments)

Radio Heatland has tickets to give away to the Americana Showcase in Rochester at the Civic Theater, this Saturday night, November 21st.
The show features local singer/songwriters Adam Levy, Molly Maher, Darren Jackson and Jeremy Messersmith and is hosted by Brandon Sampson of the band Six Mile Grove.

Enter the drawing.
Obey the rules.
Good Luck.

Thanksgiving is one week from today.

We are all grateful for family and friends and the good things in life, but lest we forget, there are others who are less fortunate. And still others who are more fortunate. And some ... we don't know if we should consider them fortunate or not, but the things they are grateful for are not the same things the rest of us would typically put on our list.

People such as Captain Billy, who felt compelled to send me a waterlogged parchment with greetings for the season:

A Pirate's Thanksgiving Prayer

Thanks for the sea and the sun an' the skies
Thanks for the vessel we's ridin', which plies
through the waves - frothy, brilliant an' blue.
A salute from the captain an' all of the crew.

An' furthermore thanks for the boats that we plunder.
The crews, what go free, an' the ships we sends under
to crust and decay in the dark down below,
where the fishes is fearsome. An' also aglow.

Fer the seaports we's grateful. The look an' the smell
of their dockside establishments - if walls could tell
of the things they had seen - of our exploits, (so-called)
you'd be glad that you missed 'em. You would be appalled.

Fer we's pirates of old an' we ain't very nice.
But we's thankful regardless for booty an' vice
an fer grog an depravity, which we adore.
An' you all should be grateful we ain't on yer shore.

Of course I AM grateful that Captain Billy isn't here, although I think of him as a rather benign sort of pirate who is more menacing at a distance than he would be face-to-face.
But perhaps I'm being naiive.

But the Captain reminds me that we are all looking out different windows on this train, so we see things from a slightly altered perspective. Grateful for depravity and vice?
I suppose everyone is thankful to have a purpose in life. I expect bank robbers are grateful for convenient branch offices in your local supermarket. I know that flies are grateful for sunny south-facing windows on November afternoons, just as I am grateful for the vacuum cleaner I use to suck them up.

Put yourself in another's shoes. What are some unexpected gratitudes?

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Don't Believe Anything

Posted at 6:03 AM on November 18, 2009 by Dale Connelly (24 Comments)

Radio Heatland has tickets to give away to the Americana Showcase in Rochester at the Civic Theater, this Saturday night, November 21st. The show features local singer/songwriters Adam Levy, Molly Maher, Darren Jackson and Jeremy Messersmith and is hosted by Brandon Sampson of the band Six Mile Grove.

Enter the drawing.
Obey the rules.
Good Luck.

On Monday, Clyde shared a useful bit of wisdom from his son.

My son produces computer games and says two things about current technology: 1) from here on, believe nothing you see or hear. 2) because we can do anything that does not mean we should do everything.

Posted by Clyde in Mankato | November 16, 2009 9:29 AM

That is so true. Digital manipulation of sounds and images makes it very difficult to trust your eyes and ears. Not only can we be manipulated by unsavory elements hoping to sway us into alignment with their twisted philosophies, but governments and other heavy handed authorities can hide disturbing news to keep us complacent.

I'm not saying this has happened.

But with all the talk at movie theater concession stands about a worldwide Mayan doomsday in 2012 and with the usual concerns about an inevitable alien invasion, one has to wonder why we haven't already seen photographic evidence of something sinister afoot. Could it be that the secret-keepers are concealing the truth through the unprincipled use of digital media?

Probably. It's not hard to do.

For example, I received a disturbing e-mail with this unsettling image of a wasp-winged, double tailed, two legged alien she-goat queen giving orders to one of her space goat lieutenants immediately after their arrival as part of the first wave of an inter-galactic Earth Invasion Force.

This is a serious cause for concern.

No government would want this news to get around. Goats are a very important economic resource worldwide, and the idea that their ranks have been infiltrated would be disruptive to say the least.

I'm an amateur at Photo Shop, but with just a few (hundred) dozen clicks, I was able to alter this image, just as some bureaucratic functionary might if he were trying to keep the awful truth from the easily panicked masses. I began by removing those weird glowing wings and giving this otherworldly beast two substantial front legs.

Then I digitally removed the time-warp goggles that space-goats use to keep their sensitive eyes from imploding under the stresses of hyper drive, and I was able to normalize the look of those eerie pinwheel orbs that can see into your soul and read your feeble plans for resistance even before you've formulated them.

Using a digital brush, I separated the propellor-like conjoined tails and added a simple collar of the sort any salt-of-the-earth Northern Minnesota goat tender would provide for her beloved animal to make this space-traveling invader seem like any other ordinary Earth-goat.

I even altered the sinister lieutenant's ear to make it seem slightly askew and thus more normal and non-threatening.

Take a look. How could THESE beasts be plotting anything more than a determined rush at the lunch pail? Crisis averted. For now.

Given how easily I hid the evidence of an impending calamity, what can we believe in anymore? I guess it all comes down to trust, and instinct.

Can you tell when someone is lying?

Even if that someone is a goat? (Or so they say!)

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What About Carlos?

Posted at 5:56 AM on November 17, 2009 by Dale Connelly (19 Comments)

Radio Heartland has tickets for you to attend a performance by the Hot Club of Cowtown at the Dakota in Minneapolis tomorrow, November 18th.
Enter the drawing.
We'll notify winners after 1pm today. Good luck!

Yesterday, our discussion of passenger behavior on board a commuter train roaring across the Minnesota prairie drove Donna of Sioux Falls completely off the rails and into a field rich with fantastic, harvest-ready corn.

I would be looking out the window daydreaming about striking up a conversation with the good-looking single guy sitting next to me, named Carlos. I'd smile and he'd smile back. I'd remark about how pleasant-smelling the train is at its infancy stage. He'd nod and agree and then I'd work up the courage to tell him some amusing anecdotes about my English ancestors who landed in Kentucky and made moonshine for a spell. And then I'd tell him about my great grandfather's antics at the picture show one Saturday with my dad's cousin. And then I'd motion toward the window and say, "See that hobo? I'm pretty sure that's one of my descendants from Kentucky." Carlos would crack up at that and say, "What's a cute funny girl like you doing in South Dakota?" And I'd say, "I know - isn't that ironic?" Then he'd ask me out, we'd fall in love and soon thereafter I'd become a Minnesotan.

Posted by Donna | November 16, 2009 9:20 AM

Truth be told, staring out the window and letting your mind go tra-la-la'ing through the myriad possibilities of this unpredictable life may be the very best way to kill time on a 40 minute commute from Big Lake to hustling, bustling downtown Minneapolis. We'll assume it is unnecessary to explain or even wonder why a first grade teacher from South Dakota is riding into the Twin Cities with the weekday morning commuters.

The question on my mind is "What About Carlos?" He must have a back-story involving relatives as interesting as Donna's movie-theater-disrupting, hobo-producing Kentucky moonshiners.

Is he a movie star on holiday, a reformed bullfighter, a displaced mariachi looking for a place to play, or is he related to Carlos Avery, failed 1924 Minnesota gubernatorial candidate and namesake of the famed Wildlife Management Area near Forest Lake?

Why is he so open to Donna's "nice-smelling train" conversation-starting gambit?

Must the couple settle in Minnesota? Does South Dakota habitually expel cute, funny people?

Would they make their home along the Northstar Rail line? Forest Lake or Fridley?

So many unanswered questions! Answer one of these, or ask your own.

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Casey Jones Slept Here

Posted at 6:11 AM on November 16, 2009 by Dale Connelly (24 Comments)

This just in! Radio Heartland has tickets for you to attend a performance by the Hot Club of Cowtown at the Dakota in Minneapolis on Wednesday, November 18th.
Enter the drawing.
We'll notify winners after 1pm on Tuesday. Good luck!

Thanks to our Radio Heartland guest bloggers last week, Kay, Anna, Don, Joanne and Tim! It's a pleasure to read your posts and comments, and if anyone else would like to be considered as a guest blogger in the future, nominate yourself with an e-mail sent to dale@radioheartland.org.

All the local news buzz today is about the launch of the Northstar Commuter Rail line from Big Lake to Downtown Minneapolis. Just about every media outlet has a journalist riding a train on "opening day", but Radio Heartland has no news staff to speak of. All we have is freelance "info-tainment personality" Bud Buck, who (grudgingly) filed this report:

5:00 am - I am aboard the first train from Big Lake headed into the self-satisfied cesspool that is the heart of the Twin Cities. Everybody aboard my car seems happy to be making the trip, but most of them work for metro news organizations and as such are card-carrying contributors to the moral decay that Minneapolis represents. No "locals" are anywhere near - they fled this car as soon as the first "how does it feel" questions began to fly. How does anyone know how they really feel at 5 am? For me, it's despair. Here I am, 400 years in the business and I still draw the earliest assignment in the book. Doesn't seniority count for anything?

5:15 am - Zipping along at 70 miles per hour, we see the lights of cars on highway 10 and notice that traffic is moving just as fast as we are, if not a little faster! I want my money back! Northstar Commuter Rail will be a bust unless people on board the train get the satisfaction of watching a lot of dopes stuck in their automobiles, bumper-to-bumper, suffering miserably.

5:23 am - Coon Rapids already. A desperate TV reporter tried to interview me about all the media coverage on Northstar's first day. I pretended to be alseep. She interviewed me anyway and did not seem to notice.

5:26 am - Was swept along with a swarm of reporters flooding another car, looking for "ordinary" people to say something on about the meaning of this train ride. Everyone is pretending to read the paper. Odd, since the paper today is all about Northstar on those pages where it's not about the Vikings beating Detroit.

5:28 am - Some travelers who haven't yet learned to hide behind a blank mask of commuter ennui got trapped into talking to the press and were cheerful enough, but I'm not buying their act. These are people on cold turkey withdrawal from their daily dose of invigorating road rage. Later today, at lunch perhaps, they'll erupt.

5:31 am - Fridley like I have never seen it.

5:42 am - Northstar goes a lot slower in the Twin Cities. Since when does Minneapolis have rail yards? A moment of excitement - one of the TV stations may have spotted a real hobo.

5:51 am - Target Field. Downtown Minneapolis. Everybody out. Monday morning and not quite 6 am yet. If I worked here, I'd be extremely morose right now. Wait, I AM working here. And I AM morose. I suppose I'd better talk to somebody.

6:04 am - Just finished interviewing a guy who got transferred here from Chicago. I asked him how Northstar compared to the trains he rode in The Windy City and he said the commute there has a lot less "golly" and "gee whiz" to it. Or maybe he said "Cheese Whiz". I did notice somebody having crackers for breakfast, even though eating onboard is forbidden.

6:08 am - Was just informed that the only morning train headed back to Big Lake (and my car) left at 6:05. Now I'm stuck in Minneapolis until 3:50 this afternoon. Golly gee.

Bud seems to be extra surly today. I have my doubts as to whether he was actually on a train this morning or just making things up in his basement.

Commuters in the largest cities tend to turn inward and avoid eye contact, but I have been on Twin Cities busses where strangers are downright chatty.
What sort of rail commuter would you be? An iPod listener? A newspaper hide-behinder? A window starer-outer? Or a social butterfly?

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Project Trio, Lisa Hannigan & Yasmin Levy

Posted at 6:00 AM on November 14, 2009 by Dale Connelly (8 Comments)

It's a busy, genre-bending night from 9 to 11 on Radio Heartland on Minnesota Public Radio News stations.

In the first hour, another amazing You Tube sensation - the classical crossover ensemble Project Trio. Greg Patillo plays the flute like a hip hop artist does beatbox, all percussion and energy, driven forward by Peter Seymour's bass and Eric Stephenson's cello.

In the second hour, Irish singer Lisa Hannigan. Lisa might have the most gentle voice of any lead singer in music today, though an early influence was opera singer Maria Callas.
Lisa's first solo recording, Sea Sew, and another You Tube appearance led her to score a rare promotional plum for any musician - an appearance on Comedy Central's The Colbert Report.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Lisa Hannigan Pt. 2
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor U.S. Speedskating

And also in hour two, we'll hear Israeli singer Yasmin Levy, whose father died when she was just one year old. With her mother's help, Yasmin managed to pick up her father's love for the music of the Sephardic Jews - people exiled from Spain in 1492. She travels the world sharing this Spanish flavored music and preserving the culture while singing in a disappearing language, Ladino.

Yasmin Levy, Lisa Hannigan and Project Trio, tonight on Radio Heartland.

The program is repeated on the Radio Heartland stream and on digital radio in the Twin Cities at noon on Sunday and 6 pm on Monday.
.

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Rituals of the Heartlanders

Posted at 5:30 AM on November 13, 2009 by Radio Heartlander (23 Comments)

Kurt Vonnegut made a comment in one of his books that was something along the lines of "People all have things they love to do on this earth. If we could divide people into groups that were determined by areas of interest then we could all look up those groups where ever we went and feel like we were among friends. No matter where on the earth you were you could find people with common interests and feel like you were in a wonderful environment among friends."

Robert Fulghum, author of "Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" wrote a book called "From Beginning to End - The Rituals of Our Lives". He talks about how the stuff we choose to do everyday is a huge part of how we deal with the world.

I have some rituals that are hard wired and part of how I get the day the week the month started. I watch CBS Sunday Morning from 8 until 930 every Sunday. I record it and episodes that go back quite a ways. I listen to Prairie Home Companion on Saturdays and have for a long time. I play cards 1st Thursday of every month. A guys night out where we smoke cigars, talk smart and win or loose 15 dollars on a big night. I drink Lipton's tea in the morning. I have to settle for English breakfast tea sometimes when I travel. English breakfast tea is good but I prefer my Lipton's and I usually remember to bring it with me so I am ready to begin my day without stress and trauma.

For about 25 years I began my day with a bath, a newspaper a cup or two of tea and The Morning Show. I remember the day I heard Jim Ed was retiring and The Morning Show was going off the air...I couldn't believe it. It was like a lifeline was cut. I wondered would I ever be able to enjoy the mornings again. I remember thinking that I should be thankful for all the years of wonderful stuff we had been gifted with.

Then Radio Heartland morphed. Dale with out Jim Ed is a little like English breakfast tea instead of Lipton's. Pretty good...obviously different... It turns out Dale is good all by himself, different yes, not quite as quirky as with Jim Ed, the skits and bits are different in print than they were as radio dramas. But you've gotta love Bud Buck, Captain Billy, Bubby, Congressman Beechly and all the friends Dale has access to. It turns out Dale is really good all by himself and the show has everything the morning show had and more. Plus it is 24/7. Great stuff

And then there is this Trial Balloon blog. Dale's topic of the day. Dale comes up with great topics. I love the responses he gets from the fellow bloggers and all of a sudden I realize you guys are now part of my ritual. I wake up get the tea start the bath and turn on Radio Heartland tunes and look at the topic of the day and what Barb has to say about it. So thanks to you all for being one of the most enjoyable rituals I have these days.

What rituals do you have, how did they come about and what kind of familiar stuff makes your life work for you?

Today we have a ticket giveaway! Enter today before 1 p.m. for a chance to win tickets to see the John Gorka concert at the Cedar Cultural Center, Saturday, Nov. 14th at 8 p.m. Check the rules for details.

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Fjord Focus

Posted at 5:30 AM on November 12, 2009 by Radio Heartlander (28 Comments)

Several years ago I won a trip to Norway - round trip airline tickets and a week's stay at a hotel in downtown Oslo! Needless to say, I was ecstatic. A free trip to the land of my ancestors - even if I didn't get outside of Oslo, this was bound to be a grand trip. The Viking ships, the Munch museum, stave churches, Henrik Ibsen, all in a beautiful city. What more could a girl ask for? Well, a girl could ask for friendly locals to show her around. As luck would have it (or more precisely, as the oddities of my family's immigration would have it), I have not-so-distant cousins living back in "the old country" who were as happy to meet me as I was to meet them. Here is the brief saga of me, my cousins, and my brush with the past.

The family story goes that there were a handful of brothers farming a chunk of land in the mountains outside Kongsberg, southwest of Oslo. This being the 19th century, life wasn't so swell if you were a farmer in Norway. So one brother (Abraham) got the bright idea lots of other Norwegians had and decided to emigrate to the United States. He was the "ahead team," if you will - Abraham found a chunk of land in Wisconsin that felt like home, even if it was appreciably flatter than home, and he could see farming would be good there. He wrote back and told his brothers that this was the land of milk and honey (heavy on the milk - they were dairy farmers), and everyone should move to Wisconsin. So the Lower brothers, including my great-grandfather Lars, and their parents Ole and Greta sold the farm, the livestock, everything but a few necessities they could pack in a handcart and walked over the mountains to the fjords to come to America.

Shortly after the others arrived, Abraham went back to marry his sweetheart. He was planning to return after the wedding, but life intervened and he stayed in Norway. Abraham's children in Norway, then, were my grandfather's first cousins; cousins who came to Minnesota to visit when I was a kid and who my grandfather visited in Norway, cousins who sent Christmas cards every year. Cousins who had children and grandchildren that I got to meet on my visit. One of my grandfather's cousins - Esther - was still alive, though by this time in her 90s, when I went to Norway. She spoke no English and I spoke only enough Norwegian to bring greetings from my grandmother and say thank you (hilsen fra Elsie, mange takk), but that was enough, it seemed. The younger generations of cousins - Svein and his daughter Bente - showed me around, fed me several times, and, perhaps most significantly, brought me out to the old Lower family farm, which is still an active farm. It was planted with golden fields of rye while we were there and chickens had replaced the cows of my great-grandfather's family. But this was the same chunk of land where my ancestors had farmed, where they were born, where they grew up and probably ran through the fields when they were children.

I sat and had a picnic lunch of cold waffles and gjetost on their farm. I stood and looked at the mountains the Lower brothers and their parents traversed with their handcart to get to America and felt like I was standing in history. I was connected, directly, to the past. This was the family place, my roots, but not my place because of events in the past - a past that now felt more tangible and real. I was there with family looking at what my great grandfather left behind to start a new life that would eventually lead to me being in the world. It was awesome in the truest sense of the word.

How deeply have you looked into your family's history? What surprises did you find?

Today we have a ticket giveaway! Enter now for a chance to win tickets to see the John Gorka concert at the Cedar Cultural Center, Saturday, Nov. 14th at 8 p.m. Check the rules for details. Hurry, contest closes Friday Nov. 13 at 1 p.m.!

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